Do you Want to be Happy?
Dear friends and loved ones,
I know I’ve opened this blog post as if I’m St. Paul writing to the Thessalonians, but indulge me because I have a word for you. But first a question. Do you want to be happy?
Happiness. It’s one of those topics I’m obsessed with intellectually, like how do we quantify it, attain it, share it etc. There is a whole field of Happiness Economics by the way. Yep, I’m a nerd for economics, but back to the topic at hand. Happiness appeals to me more so spiritually because I desire it so deeply for myself. The music at the end of this blog post is literally my life anthem.
I have prayed and reflected on Happiness from time to time over the years and I’m writing to you what the Holy Spirit has overwhelmed me to share. A simple but critical life hack:
“Happiness comes from knowing your true identity in Christ, in becoming who God has called you to be, and (listen because this is very important) in making choices that align with the two.”
In a nutshell, you cannot be happy in this world if your choices in life do not align with who you really are and who you are called to be. When your identity and actions are misaligned, you will be unhappy. You will continue to swim in an ocean of discomfort and depression, looking for answers and remedies where they do not exist. When things get really bad, you will fall into despair and sometimes into a blinding rage that causes you morph into something you are not. I have experienced this first hand in my life. I have also worked through it.
You see, we all seek this same thing: Happiness. When we find it, the first tell-tale sign is peace of mind. Notice, I am not using any qualifiers such as “true” happiness or “genuine” peace of mind because they are not needed. Happiness and peace of mind stand on their own, pure and light. The road to them may be rough but when they are claimed, you can rest easy because light has defeated darkness.
When you are in darkness, the first lie that the devil tells you is that happiness is a myth because he notices the cracks in your spiritual defenses. In fact, he will tell you that it is unrealistic to expect happiness in this world. Next, he turns your attention to the world around you like you’re seeing it for the first time: depressing news headlines, mounting bills to pay, hate and prejudice of people, poverty, betrayal, and what I like to call “everyman-for-himself-ism”. Then, he builds his case that survival is all you can hope for and that he can give you that alternative. One day, he will show you someone whose life appears to be what you want. You might just see it on Instagram or Tiktok. You might think: “I bet your life is perfect. You have money, a good job, a car, degrees and prospects. Your love life is on fleek; everyone seems interested in you and you’ll get married to the love of your life. I don’t even want to hear your complaints abeg mschewww. Leave those of us who have real problems to deal with.”
On another day when you’re feeling more sober and the devil is on a break, you might say: “God I know I should be thankful for the fact I have health and life but sometimes it’s just not enough. I’m constantly anxious about tomorrow. I don’t feel stable emotionally. Sometimes I start crying and I don’t even know why. Am I depressed? I know the Bible says I should be content and all that, but there are all these expectations on me and I don’t know what to do!”
Ah, Happiness. The thing we desire most but can never seem to hold on to. Well, happiness is most definitely not a myth and it is more than just contentment. Again dear friends and loved ones, know that:
“Happiness comes from knowing your true identity in Christ, in becoming who God has called you to be, and (listen because this is very important) in making choices that align with the two.”
While Happiness is not a myth, a constant “feeling” of happiness is and that is what the devil plays on. Being in that state is impossible because we live in the world and sometimes it just sucks. God knows we are weak and we fail and fall often on our journey of life. It would be foolish to judge whether a person is happy by their social media. We know by now that this is misleading. Happy moments do not necessarily mean happy people.
To know if a person is happy, spend time seeing how they live in the real world, how they react to challenges and how they interact with others.
Learn to identify the myths and facts about happiness so you can recognize it:
Myths
Happiness is the rush of dopamine to your brain when life is going well.
Happy people smile all the time.
Happy people are energizer bunnies painting rainbows with sunshine everywhere they go.
Happiness can be achieved if I just get that thing I’m looking for (wealth, love, opportunity etc.).
Happy people don’t ever get sad or feel down.
Facts
Happiness often manifests as an even or mild temperament with a consciousness not to give in to extreme highs or lows.
Happy people may not smile all the time but when you meet them they’ll likely have a real smile for you and a hug too.
Happy people aren’t necessarily energizer bunnies painting rainbows with sunshine but they believe that after the rain comes sunshine and rainbows, and they really want you to believe it too.
Happiness is never dictated by one’s level of material wealth, attractiveness or popularity; those things fade.
Happy people consistently (note that word) take joy in the simple things of life: the taste of good food, the sound of music, the hum of car engines, the kindness of strangers, the efforts of humans, and the grace of God, among others.
Above all, happy people focus on making good choices in life. When they fall short, they recognize it and they don’t pretend with God. They immediately re-commit to doing better next time and follow through. They learn from their mistakes and stay positive. They don’t beat themselves up unnecessarily because they know to be human is to err. Most importantly, they focus on aligning their choices in life with their identity in Christ and their calling from God. They do not care about everyone’s opinion, just the people they trust, God and themselves.
Stop chasing Happiness. Make choices that bring you Happiness.
